|
|
Post by sarahmay on Jan 16, 2018 22:44:42 GMT
Article!
How To Get Over An Infatuation Around the corner from my latest orbit, I call my therapist, tell her I am spinning wide, manifesting my worst memories of babyhood, sleeping with every ex that picks up their phone. Inside that desire, she assures me it's breastmilk I really want, that I am crawling under covers with them to feel closer to capital N Nourishment, that mother-love my mom forgot about after 12-hour shifts. We agree to call it wellness-disruption, this whoring moment where I feel attended to, looked-at, loved. All for a tit? I am in twice-a-week emotional excavation classes, paleontologically rousing up my fears, naming them when they boldly surface. I am next to one now, unresolved and sweaty telling him I really would like a breast. He offers to call one over. Not like that. I want to feel wanted.His hand is on my ass and I'm ready to be alone now. In this dichotomy of wanting to be at once picked up and put down, I disavow my under-everything need. I pay attention to myself in the hours when they leave me, when I'm left to be well on my own.
|
|
|
|
Post by sarahmay on Jan 16, 2018 22:46:01 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by chello on Jan 17, 2018 0:14:13 GMT
this is great, there are so many excellent lines in this poem! "sleeping with every ex that picks up their phone", "wellness disruption, this whoring moment", "All for a tit?", "unresolved and sweaty", so many it's just great.
|
|
|
|
Post by chello on Jan 17, 2018 0:14:44 GMT
this is great, there are so many excellent lines in this poem! "sleeping with every ex that picks up their phone", "wellness disruption, this whoring moment", "All for a tit?", "unresolved and sweaty", so many it's just great.
|
|
|
|
Post by maranda on Jan 17, 2018 1:12:44 GMT
I call my therapist, tell her I am spinning
wide, manifesting my worst memories
|
|
|
|
Post by laurenjacquish on Jan 17, 2018 3:25:54 GMT
Choosing an article from this section really allowed you to make this poem personal. The first stanza is really solid.
Couple little things:
"forgot about after 12-hour shifts." -->Is forgot the right word?
"emotional excavation classes,
paleontologically rousing up my fears, naming them
when they boldly surface." -->Like both, but maybe pick either emotional excavation classes or paleontologically rousing
|
|
|
|
Post by whoismisterjim on Jan 17, 2018 16:26:03 GMT
Couple little things: "forgot about after 12-hour shifts." -->Is forgot the right word? What about "forgot" brings this word into question? |
|
|
|
Post by laurenjacquish on Jan 17, 2018 17:15:03 GMT
Couple little things: "forgot about after 12-hour shifts." -->Is forgot the right word? What about "forgot" brings this word into question? My immediate thought was that 12 hour shifts are rough and on top of having a kid, I assume that it was that there was no time. Also, I breastfed way beyond what I wanted to because he was so difficult to wean so I totally get women who are like, I don't have time for that! Forgot seems too "blame-y" |
|
|
|
Post by whoismisterjim on Jan 17, 2018 17:26:28 GMT
What about "forgot" brings this word into question? My immediate thought was that 12 hour shifts are rough and on top of having a kid, I assume that it was that there was no time. Also, I breastfed way beyond what I wanted to because he was so difficult to wean so I totally get women who are like, I don't have time for that! Forgot seems too "blame-y" Really interesting point on the judgemental tone. What does everyone else think about that? |
|
|
|
Post by Brielle Kroner on Jan 17, 2018 17:46:38 GMT
My immediate thought was that 12 hour shifts are rough and on top of having a kid, I assume that it was that there was no time. Also, I breastfed way beyond what I wanted to because he was so difficult to wean so I totally get women who are like, I don't have time for that! Forgot seems too "blame-y" Really interesting point on the judgemental tone. What does everyone else think about that? I get what Lauren's saying. To me the forgetting seemed matter-of-fact. A person is going to forget things if they work 12 hour shifts, and forgetting doesn't have to mean neglecting. |
|
|
|
Post by Veronica on Jan 17, 2018 19:44:04 GMT
Really interesting point on the judgemental tone. What does everyone else think about that? I get what Lauren's saying. To me the forgetting seemed matter-of-fact. A person is going to forget things if they work 12 hour shifts, and forgetting doesn't have to mean neglecting. I would have to agree. To me, it reads as exhaustion or surrender. I do not really pick up on any form of blame or neglect. |
|
|
|
Post by maranda on Jan 18, 2018 0:07:30 GMT
I felt like either the mother was just dead tired and trying to make things work and didn't realize this was something the child craved OR the mother choose career over child. I think it works either way if Sarah has a specific intent and doesn't want it open for interpretation she could bring the idea of the absent mother back and clarify later in the poem.
|
|
|
|
Post by chello on Jan 18, 2018 14:59:37 GMT
i felt like the word forgot was a good choice for this poem. for me i don't necessarily lump breast feeding with that the mother forgot to be nurturing. for all we know the mother did not breast feed but the therapist using the analogy of the client craving breast milk as the ultimate need to be nurtured. (there are those that believe that not breast feeding leads to attachment issues) that kind of thing. i read the lines
"to feel closer to capital N Nourishment, that mother-love
my mom forgot about after 12-hour shifts. " were pretty clear and not blame-y like Maranda and Brielle said the woman was just to tired to think of anything after a 12 shift which might not have been a choice for the woman, but a necessity.
|
|
|
|
Post by laurenjacquish on Jan 18, 2018 19:29:07 GMT
i felt like the word forgot was a good choice for this poem. for me i don't necessarily lump breast feeding with that the mother forgot to be nurturing. for all we know the mother did not breast feed but the therapist using the analogy of the client craving breast milk as the ultimate need to be nurtured. (there are those that believe that not breast feeding leads to attachment issues) that kind of thing. i read the lines "to feel closer to capital N Nourishment, that mother-love my mom forgot about after 12-hour shifts. " were pretty clear and not blame-y like Maranda and Brielle said the woman was just to tired to think of anything after a 12 shift which might not have been a choice for the woman, but a necessity. Yeah I see that. I don't think the intention was to be blame-y, just that it could be interpreted as such. |
|
|
|
Post by Kate Burnham on Jan 22, 2018 4:34:41 GMT
Sarah,
Once again, I am falling in love with your writing style. I think my favorite line is "In this dichotomy of wanting to be at once picked up and put down, I disavow my under-everything need." I like how you have wrapped everything up in this one line, and I know it functions more in the language area than the image area, but I really dig the way you have described what is happening here. I am a little tripped-up by the title (I know we had to use the same title as the article), but I feel like this poem stands alone solidly as if the article did not even inspire it--so pick your own title.
As for the mother-blaming, I did read it as the speaker was kind of down on/disappointed in their mother, and the reason I read it that way was more because of "mother-love" than "forgot." You could have used a different thing, specifically just the breastfeeding, that was forgotten, but you included the word "love," and that made the difference for me. Also, when I read "capital N Nourishment," my mind also skipped ahead to associate this with "nurture," and so yeah, I did feel like the speaker had mommy issues. I have no idea whether this detail is even a concern for you, but it is interesting that it is standing out to the reader so much.
Should "attended to" also be hyphenated?
|
|
