Post by maranda on Jan 20, 2018 22:58:09 GMT
Making It Home
The image of the neighbor’s heads
shame-shaking as the police
documented another of our family
disputes disappears somewhere
in the loud crack of my softball bat.
Those same neighbors clapping
as I moved in a blur to 2nd base—
catcher’s eyes burning a dirty
look through the infield.
My big lead and slow return drawing
an oohh from the crowd.
Somewhere in the whiz of the laces
and the smell of chalk, the way
they note how I look at their
daughters disappears—my hands
curling over 3rd base.
On a bunt, I wait halfway down the line
between 3rd and home in that slow motion
space where the pitcher stares at me
but throws to first. In this moment
even I forget about
my gold digging grandmother.
My wild child aunt. My 19 year-old
mother giving birth to a mixed baby.
My stepfather that’s only 13 years
older than me. That they suspect
I’m a lesbian, and that outside of this
chain link I am a stain on the town—
my family, imposters living
in my grandfather’s house,
a man we can’t live up to.
I forget all of this and decide
to win it for the town, for us.
A single is still my go to,
it gives me the chance to reinvent
myself every 60 feet.
The image of the neighbor’s heads
shame-shaking as the police
documented another of our family
disputes disappears somewhere
in the loud crack of my softball bat.
Those same neighbors clapping
as I moved in a blur to 2nd base—
catcher’s eyes burning a dirty
look through the infield.
My big lead and slow return drawing
an oohh from the crowd.
Somewhere in the whiz of the laces
and the smell of chalk, the way
they note how I look at their
daughters disappears—my hands
curling over 3rd base.
On a bunt, I wait halfway down the line
between 3rd and home in that slow motion
space where the pitcher stares at me
but throws to first. In this moment
even I forget about
my gold digging grandmother.
My wild child aunt. My 19 year-old
mother giving birth to a mixed baby.
My stepfather that’s only 13 years
older than me. That they suspect
I’m a lesbian, and that outside of this
chain link I am a stain on the town—
my family, imposters living
in my grandfather’s house,
a man we can’t live up to.
I forget all of this and decide
to win it for the town, for us.
A single is still my go to,
it gives me the chance to reinvent
myself every 60 feet.
