|
Post by chello on Jan 20, 2018 8:07:23 GMT
be honest/ you open a window on the coldest of days eyes closed/ letting the wind take you away there is no place for the soul here/ still tonight the horizon is a mountain on fire an eruption of burgundy/ fuchsia/ amaranth and magenta/ bleeding into the sapphire sky
breeze billowing in open window/ clutching the wounded moments left braising from the day/ gathered up in a plume of startle and dust/ shaa-ha/ ghost lip whisper scattering across the night sky messages written in dream the land/ the lay/ the burden shuttled out/ to begin anew/ come morning's brilliant murmur gold dust on the rise this is why the heart opens
|
|
|
Post by whoismisterjim on Jan 21, 2018 3:04:59 GMT
Do we get a sense of a specific place here? Is it a tangible location? Does it need to be for the speaker?
|
|
|
Post by laurenjacquish on Jan 22, 2018 18:36:28 GMT
I think the lack of specificity other than the colors of the sky and landscape creates a feeling of largeness/expanse that makes the speaker seem smaller in a way that is helpful. When we have heavy emotions that take over our mind, looking over the ocean or a gorgeous landscape is healing. The same goes for the sensory aspects of the wind. I think of bike or motorcycle, the sound/feeling of wind takes the focus away from a busy mind.
I pictured the desert or midwestern scenes, maybe that's what made me think of motorcycles/motorcycle landscape movies.
|
|
|
Post by Brielle Kroner on Jan 22, 2018 18:47:42 GMT
I think the lack of specificity other than the colors of the sky and landscape creates a feeling of largeness/expanse that makes the speaker seem smaller in a way that is helpful. When we have heavy emotions that take over our mind, looking over the ocean or a gorgeous landscape is healing. The same goes for the sensory aspects of the wind. I think of bike or motorcycle, the sound/feeling of wind takes the focus away from a busy mind. I pictured the desert or midwestern scenes, maybe that's what made me think of motorcycles/motorcycle landscape movies. I 100% agree, and Lauren said it better than I could. The expanse was mostly what I was feeling. Not a specific place, but very specific recognition of a mental place manifested physically. To pin it down more, I would say the place is outdoors during sunset, and I don't think it necessarily needs to be more specific.
|
|
|
Post by Kate Burnham on Jan 26, 2018 15:55:26 GMT
It's not specific in terms of street, city, state, but this poem is definitely about PLACE. It's not really about the speaker, or a point on a map, but does feel very specific to time and place, even though neither are mentioned, and I don't know what mentioning them would add other than making the reader want to go and witness this for themselves. That said, mentioning time and location might diminish the sensory experience being presented in this poem, clutter the thoughts of the reader.
|
|