Post by Kate Burnham on Jan 19, 2018 19:44:05 GMT
How to Successfully Make a Mistake
Step one:
after a lengthy spell of not
believing in yourself or anyone else,
suddenly start believing,
wholeheartedly,
like a child clapping for fairies.
Step two:
give your newfound faith
fuel—devote yourself to this endeavor,
whatever it may be, one-hundred percent.
Bet all, invest everything,
because you know it's a sure thing.
Step three:
invest, work, and believe
to the point of overdrawing your
personal accounts, maxing out
every line of credit available, just like
Aunt Bertha's infomercial fixation.
Step four:
eradicate Vulcan logic—logic of
any kind—from your purview. This is about
heart, emotions, obsession... Magic. Not
realism. This is your Kobayashi Maru,
not a non-zero sum game.
Step five:
Sing songs that give you chills,
eat chocolate, drink alcohol chased with
coffee, have sex, give lots of gifts, sleep in,
stay up for days on end, wash, rinse, and
repeat when your chemical high starts to burn off.
Step six:
end on step six, an unlucky number,
because it usually takes six plus months before
your consciousness un-blurs and your
hindsight goggles are delivered by the USPS,
which leaves a few Attempted Delivery messages
on your front porch before you notice the package.
Post a happy little unboxing video on your Facebook
page, and when you finally get a good seal on your
face with the goggles, hope to hell they come
off after, so that you can attempt this experiment
all over again—your new faith involving the
scientific method to prove a theory in-the-making.
Step one:
after a lengthy spell of not
believing in yourself or anyone else,
suddenly start believing,
wholeheartedly,
like a child clapping for fairies.
Step two:
give your newfound faith
fuel—devote yourself to this endeavor,
whatever it may be, one-hundred percent.
Bet all, invest everything,
because you know it's a sure thing.
Step three:
invest, work, and believe
to the point of overdrawing your
personal accounts, maxing out
every line of credit available, just like
Aunt Bertha's infomercial fixation.
Step four:
eradicate Vulcan logic—logic of
any kind—from your purview. This is about
heart, emotions, obsession... Magic. Not
realism. This is your Kobayashi Maru,
not a non-zero sum game.
Step five:
Sing songs that give you chills,
eat chocolate, drink alcohol chased with
coffee, have sex, give lots of gifts, sleep in,
stay up for days on end, wash, rinse, and
repeat when your chemical high starts to burn off.
Step six:
end on step six, an unlucky number,
because it usually takes six plus months before
your consciousness un-blurs and your
hindsight goggles are delivered by the USPS,
which leaves a few Attempted Delivery messages
on your front porch before you notice the package.
Post a happy little unboxing video on your Facebook
page, and when you finally get a good seal on your
face with the goggles, hope to hell they come
off after, so that you can attempt this experiment
all over again—your new faith involving the
scientific method to prove a theory in-the-making.
