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Post by shailen scott on Jan 16, 2018 23:52:10 GMT
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Post by chello on Jan 17, 2018 0:03:07 GMT
Shailen, i like all the subtle hints and implications is this poem, it's loaded with them but it doesn't leave you feeling bombarded. "Black and white
beast and beauty
still never quite enough"
i love the way that ending sounds.
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Post by laurenjacquish on Jan 17, 2018 7:12:43 GMT
I agree with Chello that the strength of this poem is the subtlety. The references to Beauty and the Beast make me sad! That said, you have captured the problems with so much of the discussion around this wedding in a ey limited space. Brava! I wish there was a title. Is Dress White Enough the title?
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Post by whoismisterjim on Jan 17, 2018 16:06:38 GMT
The imagery around passing here is compact and is an interesting play with the Beauty and Beast reference. I think there's more detail that could flesh this out and really expand the arc of this draft moving forward.
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Post by Kate Burnham on Jan 20, 2018 6:05:36 GMT
I didn't even know that there was gossip about this royal wedding, but I really don't pay attention to who is marrying who or famous people in general, unless they are running the government, and even then I admit that for the most part I live under a rock with my world revolving around Bob.
I think the title of the article is also the title of the poem, yes? I like how you have played the words into all of these double entendre lines. Personally, I like that this poem is so clipped, "relaxed and pared down," but I would still be interested in seeing what happens if you incorporate more details about the gossip surrounding this marriage that makes it like a Beauty and the Beast tale as old as time. Also, if you lengthen the poem a little bit with these proposed details, you might break up the repetition of "enough," giving this refrain room to breathe.
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