Dear Martin

[Jai]

www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/why-so-many-white-churches-resisted-martin-luther-king-jr%E2%80%99s-call/ar-AAuIigl?li=AA4ZnC&ocid=ientp




Martin,

Did you dream?
Can you hear our call?
    Are you sleeping?
So many white churches resisted you—
        poor Coretta.
One day out of three hundred sixty five and
the nile turns a shade of burnt orange like in the bible.
    Why Martin?
What has divided the masses?
I used to close my eyes and pretend you were my father,
I’d sit on your lap and bounce,
In my mind we’d play horsey.
Still, you were Martin.
I could not call my mother’s ex-husband
because he gouged his eyes out of fear of obsession.
Did he love me Martin?              My Father.
You would have never turned your back to me.

So I dream.

[whoismisterjim]

You've made a choice in your draft to point towards the personal and move away from the article proper. What would be some ways to pull additional language from the article to help shape the poem in a more specific direction (i.e. the contrast of white churches and cultural divisions)? 

[laurenjacquish]

I agree that this could incorporate the article, though I appreciate how you have blended personal experience.

These lines are rough though and I am not sure the tone is consistent with the rest. It's a bit clunky:

"I could not call my mother’s ex-husband
because he gouged his eyes out of fear of obsession"

[Brielle Kroner]

I've been reading the poems, then looking at the article, then reading the poems again, and once I looked at this article, I was like "Ohhhhh." The poem stands alone and feels like it came from a spark that the article ignited rather than being written from the article, but that's fine. It's a strong poem.

[Jai]

Jan 17, 2018 16:56:54 GMT whoismisterjim said:

You've made a choice in your draft to point towards the personal and move away from the article proper. What would be some ways to pull additional language from the article to help shape the poem in a more specific direction (i.e. the contrast of white churches and cultural divisions)? 

Hi Professor Warner,

Here we have an article about division, MLK, MLK Day (the poor Coretta reference), White churches denouncing Martin's Doctrine etc....so if I were to expand this poem I'd incorporate more of the idea of the long white robes and the point of the poem which is circled around a dismissive tone where what white churches believe is key, does not, somehow align itself with Dr. kings doctrine.

[Kate Burnham]

This is a keeper, I think. Some punctuation things to clear up, and you could try to marry it more with the article, but I also like where it is at right now...