Sanchi

[laurenjacquish]

Sanchi

It takes folks putting on gloves.
Brainiacs must work out all sorts of equations,
investors and tycoons must cross fishy boundaries
to make fire on the surface of the sea.
The death that keeps us powered,
sucked up and spit out, travels in
a welder’s gratitude in protestors’ charter buses
in the Sanchi tanker. From the sky,
the East China sea looks big enough for the Sanchi
and the CF Crystal to avoid collision.
It takes the twenty-nine crewmembers,
vacuumed up with the force of Mother Oceana,
into epic disaster. This is a high traffic area.
Spawning life migrates along endangered paths−
under the surface,
birds up in the air, through toxic plumes.
As above so below.
Some hope they might get lucky with the current,
maybe the fish of some other place will be poisoned,
someone else’s beaches will turn slick.
Dawn will team up with Bounty and the Chinese and Iranian governments
to spread messages of hope and community building.
Our will dissipates floats motors and chokes.
Our attention, out with the current.



www.nytimes.com/2018/01/15/world/asia/oil-tanker-spill-sanchi-east-china-sea.html?module=WatchingPortal&region=c-column-middle-span-region&pgType=Homepage&action=click&mediaId=thumb_square&state=standard&contentPlacement=2&version=internal&contentCollection=www.nytimes.com&contentId=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2018%2F01%2F15%2Fworld%2Fasia%2Foil-tanker-spill-sanchi-east-china-sea.html&eventName=Watching-article-click

[Brielle Kroner]

I love this poem! Beautiful and tragic take on turning a blind eye at the end. "Dawn will team up with Bounty and the Chinese and Iranian governments" "Our attention out with the current." Great last line. Welcome back!

[chello]

i agree with ok (Brielle Kroner?) i like it. it is a really fast reading poem it feels amped up, i feel the urgency of these terrible things right up to the end. there are some really beautiful images in this poem as well. "birds up in the air, through toxic plumes", "Spawning life migrates along endangered paths-", "to make fire on the surface of the sea". really nice. i also really appreciate the timely nature of this poem with everything going on in the world.

[Kate Burnham]

I agree, “Dawn and Bounty team up...” is a great line.

[whoismisterjim]

There is a real urgent mood to the poem here (as Chello and Brielle have mentioned). Is there a way the lines can help fuel that kineticism. What about the opening line: "It takes folks putting on gloves." How does this impact your entry into the poem?

[Brielle Kroner]

Jan 17, 2018 16:51:53 GMT whoismisterjim said:

There is a real urgent mood to the poem here (as Chello and Brielle have mentioned). Is there a way the lines can help fuel that kineticism. What about the opening line: "It takes folks putting on gloves." How does this impact your entry into the poem?

It's interesting because it's a fragment, but it has a period on the end, so I feel like I'm supposed to get a whole statement from it. Maybe if there was one line before it or the title was different, something to show what "it" is in that first line, it would be a more open entry.

[Kate Burnham]

Jan 17, 2018 16:51:53 GMT whoismisterjim said:

There is a real urgent mood to the poem here (as Chello and Brielle have mentioned). Is there a way the lines can help fuel that kineticism. What about the opening line: "It takes folks putting on gloves." How does this impact your entry into the poem?

It was a weird first line, weird in a good way. It gave me expectations about what might be about to be described. I guess, in a way, it also feels out of place, like maybe it belongs closer to the end of the poem? I did run into spots that I felt needed commas, and some of the longer lines could be broken sooner to quicken the pace of the poem.